Bridgerton - A Life Coach’s Take

Spoiler Alert: This blog post includes details about the second season of the Bridgerton series on Netflix.

Setting the Scene

The official launch of Befriend Your Strengths, my new life coaching business, is just a few days away. There’s much to be done. The anticipation is akin to that of a young student right before the first semester of school begins.

Yet, something pulls my attention. I can’t resist plopping down on the couch to watch the last few episodes of Bridgerton season 2 on Netflix.

Shame begins to creep in. After a decade of wishful thinking about becoming a life coach, I’m finally making the dream a reality with this launch. At this pivotal moment, how can I be wasting my time watching a sexy romance show?

Yet, I can’t help but be pulled in by the slow burn love story, fanciful costumes, and suspense.

Then, a realization starts to dawn on me as the finale creeps closer and closer. The realization relates to an opinion I have held throughout the season, but which the lead characters – Kate and Anthony, or “Kanthony” as a couple – are just starting to recognize and embrace.

What is the realization, you ask?

I’m not wasting my time!

This season of Bridgerton provides a perfect case study for my own business case…

The central lesson for Kanthony is that breaking up with society’s clichéd, often outdated, norms is ultimately NOT a recipe for catastrophe but rather a paradigm shift that leads to triumph, if one is courageous enough to lean in.

Stating the Case

Through most of Bridgerton season 2, we see Kate and Anthony mistargeting their efforts to try and manufacture the marriage of Anthony to Kate’s younger sister, Edwina. Even though Kate and Anthony secretly harbor feelings for one another, they think they are doing the right thing for their families by upholding social norms which celebrate the union of an elite Viscount like Anthony to the pristine, polished “diamond” of the courting season in Edwina.

Kate and Anthony invest much time, emotion, and money into the process of getting Anthony engaged, and almost married, to Edwina in order to please their families and those in their social circle. Anthony and Edwina’s courtship becomes the talk of the town and provides ample content for the popular gossip pamphlet written by the mysterious Lady Whistledown. Even the Queen highlights the cultural importance of the pairing by deciding to hold the wedding at her palace.

While time and money are poured into the mating rituals of balls, promenading, and event planning, Anthony and Kate find themselves increasingly drained of the enthusiasm and energy they once had for the goal of binding Anthony and Edwina together in matrimony.

As finally shown at the close of the season, Kate and Anthony are metaphorically (and literally, with their rousing horse rides) racing down a path that would lead to a life much less fulfilling and hopeful than the one they could have if they listened to their hearts and acknowledged and pursued their feelings for one another.

Literally the moment before saying “I do,” Edwina – by a stroke of fate – realizes that Anthony is in fact in love with Kate and ends up breaking off the engagement. The inertia of following the socially expected path had in fact been so strong that it took another person’s actions to halt the course.

Once Kate and Anthony get permission from Edwina to follow their hearts, it does not take long for their more organically formed connection to blossom.

After all, the Queen herself acknowledges that …

“I suppose even I must recognize the importance of each person deciding what to do in the face of true love. Everyone deserves to make that choice just as everyone deserves to feel its power.”

Showing Up Strong

How much more beautiful might all of our lives, our organizations, our worlds be if we put more of our upfront efforts into being our true selves and befriending our unique strengths?

In our schools, our businesses, our political forums, society highlights what is “wrong” to such an extent that survival, let alone success, demands we concentrate our efforts on improving our areas of perceived weakness.

Certain strengths – such as speed, authority, and other stereotypically “male” qualities – are prioritized when it comes to achieving power and influence. We put profits over people, grades over growth, and votes over values.

Conforming to norms, however, does not guarantee sustained success or satisfaction. Down the line, companies pay – literally and reputationally – for cutting corners. Celebrities get called out for their lies and facades. Politicians must answer to the justice system.

It may seem like fortune favors the people who possess or perform traditionally celebrated strengths. And this may be true on the surface and in the short term, but my hypothesis – which aligns with the research on strengths-based development – is that to achieve and maintain YOUR personal version of success, the surest path is to use YOUR strengths.

Mapping out what success means to you, and how to use your strengths to get there, involves deep and ongoing reflection and exploration. This is what the Befriend Your Strengths process is all about.

The premise of Befriend Your Strengths comes from a wellspring of research which indicates that living and working in accordance with your strengths increases the likelihood of all sorts of positive outcomes, from individual and organizational performance to general levels of hope, fulfillment, and wellbeing in one’s life.

Through strengths-based learning and coaching, we develop our vocabulary for the different talents which we innately possess to varying degrees, and then we aim our time and energy towards utilizing and enhancing those talents such that they become strengths.

According to the people behind CliftonStrengths - the tool I use in my coaching - a strength is a type of knowledge, skill, or behavior that is executed with consistent, nearly perfect performance. Befriending your strengths means focusing on the conditions and choices that are most likely to call on your specific strengths.

T.L.D.R.?

…Bridgerton season 2 is all about breaking up with clichéd “high society” norms…

Keeping up with society’s norms – whether they be lauded or loathed – may bear fruit in the short term, but what really leads to blossoming in the long-term is being true to yourself. In the long run, it’s more smart, sustainable, and satisfying to lead with and follow your own strengths, rather than pushing them away or fighting them.

If you’re ready to identify and maximize your unique Talent DNA, be sure to learn more about how to Befriend Your Strengths!